The AllStar UK Comedy Jam is the first ever comedy show I’ve been to. Of course I’ve seen quite a few on TV and online, but I was over the moon to actually attend a live one. As my friend and I sat in the filled O2 Brixton Academy, I felt a rush of happiness. It was lovely to be amidst hundreds of other Black men and women all having a good laugh. What could go wrong...?
The show finally started a couple of minutes after 7 pm, as there were still many guests arriving ‘fashionably’ late. Come on people, if we want these stereotypes to stop we can’t be strutting in 30 minutes late with an Aquafresh smile on our faces as if “It wasn’t me!”.
Anyway. The show started with Kevin J who was last year’s Best Newcomer. And boy, he’s not a newcomer anymore, but he was surely (one of) the best of the night. I’m sure he is somewhere on YouTube, so if you don’t believe me please check him out. This white guy –or light skinned guy as he referred to himself- did brilliant and genuine Jamaican and Nigerian accents. It was hilarious and I almost fell of my seat –unashamedly, as other people did worse.
After him came one of the few female comedians, Glenda Jackson. I really liked her calm style of comedy and I definitely liked the bling-bling she was wearing. I need to go shopping with this lady! One of the most memorable moments was when she referred to her microphone pole as her friend: “This is my friend. Cheryl Cole...She needs to eat.” I agree.
The show was interrupted with some singers who did not seem to capture the audience very much. Most people just began walking around and headed for the toilets. I bet they could have held their number 1s and 2s if Mrs Jay-Z had been shaking her thang on stage!
There was also a raffle competition for a trip to New York City, and my friend and I have never been so happy NOT to win. Four numbers were called forward. Three ladies and a gentleman with a broken ankle.. Little did anyone know they had to do a dance-off! The lucky lady who won was a Caribbean lady from Windsor who got up-close-and-personal with the male presenter..
After all the excitement it was back to the comedians. Richard Blackwood and Slim in particular had their ‘moan-of-the-week’ on that stage. Although Slim also spoke of cats’ disloyalty to Black people, their rants were mainly about women and our shenanigans. As Richard Blackwood said: “If you do something to a woman, she can’t hit you back. They have to use their brains! That’s why they’re smarter than us in so many things!”
And right he is! Wouldn’t we all like to literally kick that lying, cheating son-of-ahum to the kerb?
Richard told of women cleaning toilets with their men’s toothbrushes, poisoning their foods and sticking smelly fish in their curtains. A man should be extra careful if his lady lets him off ‘easy’ after catching him on his lies and cheating.
Slim also dished our secrets of ladyhood to the crowd. He revealed the reason why a man never knows when his Missus is doing a number 2, even after being with her for years. Don’t worry ladies. I’m not going to share our little secret of the trade on this blog. All I’m saying to the men is, we don’t make number 2s a showdown of noises and smells between us and the toilet, disabling others from entering for the next 30 to 45 minutes. We just make sure it looks and smells the same as how we found it, and we don’t make certain noisy announcements. That’s why we’re smarter in so many things.
By Aichel
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The show finally started a couple of minutes after 7 pm, as there were still many guests arriving ‘fashionably’ late. Come on people, if we want these stereotypes to stop we can’t be strutting in 30 minutes late with an Aquafresh smile on our faces as if “It wasn’t me!”.
Anyway. The show started with Kevin J who was last year’s Best Newcomer. And boy, he’s not a newcomer anymore, but he was surely (one of) the best of the night. I’m sure he is somewhere on YouTube, so if you don’t believe me please check him out. This white guy –or light skinned guy as he referred to himself- did brilliant and genuine Jamaican and Nigerian accents. It was hilarious and I almost fell of my seat –unashamedly, as other people did worse.
After him came one of the few female comedians, Glenda Jackson. I really liked her calm style of comedy and I definitely liked the bling-bling she was wearing. I need to go shopping with this lady! One of the most memorable moments was when she referred to her microphone pole as her friend: “This is my friend. Cheryl Cole...She needs to eat.” I agree.
The show was interrupted with some singers who did not seem to capture the audience very much. Most people just began walking around and headed for the toilets. I bet they could have held their number 1s and 2s if Mrs Jay-Z had been shaking her thang on stage!
There was also a raffle competition for a trip to New York City, and my friend and I have never been so happy NOT to win. Four numbers were called forward. Three ladies and a gentleman with a broken ankle.. Little did anyone know they had to do a dance-off! The lucky lady who won was a Caribbean lady from Windsor who got up-close-and-personal with the male presenter..
After all the excitement it was back to the comedians. Richard Blackwood and Slim in particular had their ‘moan-of-the-week’ on that stage. Although Slim also spoke of cats’ disloyalty to Black people, their rants were mainly about women and our shenanigans. As Richard Blackwood said: “If you do something to a woman, she can’t hit you back. They have to use their brains! That’s why they’re smarter than us in so many things!”
And right he is! Wouldn’t we all like to literally kick that lying, cheating son-of-ahum to the kerb?
Richard told of women cleaning toilets with their men’s toothbrushes, poisoning their foods and sticking smelly fish in their curtains. A man should be extra careful if his lady lets him off ‘easy’ after catching him on his lies and cheating.
Slim also dished our secrets of ladyhood to the crowd. He revealed the reason why a man never knows when his Missus is doing a number 2, even after being with her for years. Don’t worry ladies. I’m not going to share our little secret of the trade on this blog. All I’m saying to the men is, we don’t make number 2s a showdown of noises and smells between us and the toilet, disabling others from entering for the next 30 to 45 minutes. We just make sure it looks and smells the same as how we found it, and we don’t make certain noisy announcements. That’s why we’re smarter in so many things.
By Aichel
